Surprisingly often I hear this from women in my practice: "My partner doesn't get it."
The conversation often goes the same way. A woman tries to explain what she's experiencing. Her partner, well-intentioned but uninformed, offers solutions: "Have you tried exercise?" "Maybe you need more sleep?" But sometimes that can feel dismissive, not supportive.
Because the real issue isn't that she needs to try harder. It's that her body is fundamentally changing in ways she can't control—and her partner doesn't understand that menopause is the driver.
The frustration isn't just about the symptoms. It's about feeling misunderstood by the person closest to her.
The Pattern I'm Hearing
Does your partner:
Think you're "making excuses" when you describe how menopause affects you
Blame you for mood changes instead of understanding they're physiological
Fail to recognize how real the symptoms are
Interpret your reduced interest in intimacy as personal rejection
Question whether you're "doing enough" to manage symptoms
The research on this is sobering. Studies show that partner support during menopause is inconsistent at best. Some partners are described in "heroic terms" for simply understanding what's happening. Others actively reinforce the idea that menopause is a "problem you should fix."
And here's what struck me most from the research: when partners do understand, women report dramatically better relationship quality. The difference between feeling blamed and feeling supported is enormous.
Why This Matters
Your relationship quality during menopause isn't a luxury. It directly affects:
Your emotional wellbeing (isolation vs. support)
Your confidence (being validated vs. questioned)
Your sexual and emotional intimacy
Your ability to manage stress (which affects symptoms)
How you parent your children
A partner who understands menopause becomes a crucial part of your support system. A partner who doesn't can inadvertently make everything harder.
What Actually Helps
The research identifies several things that shift the dynamic:
Partner understanding and validation of what you're experiencing—not as "a problem to fix" but as "a transition we're navigating together."
Open communication where you can describe what's happening without being questioned or minimized.
Recognition that menopause affects intimacy—physical and emotional—and that this requires conversation, not blame.
Active partnership in managing the transition, whether that means supporting your health choices, adjusting expectations about sex, or simply believing you when you describe how you feel.
What You Can Actually Do
First: know that if your partner doesn't understand menopause, that's not a personal failing on your part or theirs. Most partners haven't been educated about menopause. They're working with outdated cultural narratives or no information at all.
Second: you can change this. Not by working harder or explaining better, but by having a deliberate conversation about what's actually happening.
Third: some partners will get it immediately once they understand. Others will need more support to shift their perspective.
The full article goes deeper into:
What partners commonly misunderstand (and why)
How menopause affects different aspects of your relationship
Practical communication strategies that work
When to seek professional support
What to do if your partner resists understanding
You deserve to feel supported by the person closest to you during this transition. And that starts with them actually understanding what's happening.
Click here for the full article: https://www.liferenomedic.com/blog/when-your-partner-doesnt-understand-menopause-navigating-relationships-during-this-transition
Enrollment opens in January for my new group program designed specifically for women navigating these relationship challenges during menopause. Starting in April, you'll have the opportunity to connect with other women going through exactly what you are.
Being part of a community of women who truly understand what you're experiencing can be transformative. I'll share full details and enrollment information in January when applications open.
PS: Want to be among the first to know when enrollment opens? Reply with 'GROUP' and I'll prioritize you for January details.
💡TIP: Your partner's understanding matters. And if they don't have it yet, that's something you can actually change.
Stay happy and healthy!
Erika.
